her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
