ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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