ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
