Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
