there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
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Farmville is her only friend.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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