JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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