so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
