You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
