I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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