No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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