I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
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Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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