Jerry, you need to find god
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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