The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
