she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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