God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
