Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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