He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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