i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
