Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
