My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
