Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
