obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
