Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
