so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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