Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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