your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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