he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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