It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
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ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
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My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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