guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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