i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize