Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
