btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
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Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
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The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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