I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
