I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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