Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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