Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
