I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
