yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
