i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
