This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
