Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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