Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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