playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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