How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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