I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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