did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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