So drunk, too bad you don't want this
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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