i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants