Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?

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  (417): Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional? http://tfl.nu/5yvr
  Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (657)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.

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  (828): he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art. http://tfl.nu/yesh
  Replies (47) Good night (3101) Bad night (1510)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.

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  (506): i think i would be more confident if i were chinese. http://tfl.nu/cr8w
  Replies (6) Good night (2584) Bad night (1685)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.

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  (785): I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever. http://tfl.nu/2hpf
  Replies (38) Good night (12933) Bad night (1363)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy

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  (830): You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy http://tfl.nu/g7o4
  Replies (12) Good night (4221) Bad night (1028)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.

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  (914): I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here. http://tfl.nu/s43y
  Replies (15) Good night (4847) Bad night (1177)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?

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  (413): She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy? http://tfl.nu/obto
  Replies (12) Good night (1291) Bad night (5307)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.

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  (940): Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him. http://tfl.nu/o9z5
  Replies (10) Good night (896) Bad night (3418)
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  (619): View more from California

  It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.

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  (619): It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/0yym
  Replies (7) Good night (3300) Bad night (940)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy

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  (609): Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy http://tfl.nu/d1ob
  Replies (7) Good night (1802) Bad night (688)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.

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  (603): Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final. http://tfl.nu/2gn0
  Replies (7) Good night (2564) Bad night (596)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.

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  (403): You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck. http://tfl.nu/6fxi
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (429)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not the worst first impression I've experienced.

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  (724): Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face. (1-724): Not the worst first impression I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/reln
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (288)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass

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  (336): I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass http://tfl.nu/ok5m
  Replies (2) Good night (313) Bad night (910)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook

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  (610): So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook http://tfl.nu/uied
  Replies (1) Good night (178) Bad night (432)

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