Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  Those balls look pretty dangerous.

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  (530): Those balls look pretty dangerous. http://tfl.nu/vdt4
  Replies (6) Good night (2982) Bad night (915)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.

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  (770): Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on. http://tfl.nu/h5b5
  Replies (38) Good night (959) Bad night (4991)
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  (650): View more from California

  I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.

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  (650): I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'. http://tfl.nu/1o2s
  Replies (18) Good night (1039) Bad night (2925)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon

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  (785): It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon http://tfl.nu/mcj5
  Replies (33) Good night (960) Bad night (6357)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my way.

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  (804): my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now. (1-804): I'm on my way. http://tfl.nu/8nvt
  Replies (28) Good night (7251) Bad night (1010)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar

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  (513): you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar http://tfl.nu/7jk8
  Replies (21) Good night (6285) Bad night (856)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

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  (803): If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now http://tfl.nu/b5gc
  Replies (9) Good night (1985) Bad night (3554)
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  (516): View more from New York

  That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

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  (516): That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it http://tfl.nu/ocmo
  Replies (13) Good night (1695) Bad night (3263)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)

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  (610): We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus) http://tfl.nu/tr80
  Replies (5) Good night (2517) Bad night (1855)
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  (714): View more from California

  Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

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  (714): Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty" http://tfl.nu/39ju
  Replies (7) Good night (1410) Bad night (2059)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.

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  (+44): Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/zz0f
  Replies (14) Good night (4476) Bad night (1026)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"

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  (914): I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish" http://tfl.nu/lggm
  Replies (15) Good night (4129) Bad night (523)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.

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  (662): He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it. http://tfl.nu/e1a5
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (306)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.

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  (608): Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation. http://tfl.nu/yj08
  Replies (1) Good night (740) Bad night (333)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting

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  (706): Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting http://tfl.nu/0ok9
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (415)

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