can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize