I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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