I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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