he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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