Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
