a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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