You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
