Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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